My wife’s uncle passed away unexpectedly two days ago. He was too young, loved, and good to have this happen. But then, fate does not always look at who we are when deciding to intervene. Who we are is not a question fate deals with, it is a question for those of us who remain after.
When you hear people referred to as “a rock,” that’s Uncle Kenny. They are the people who become your friends two seconds after shaking hands the first time. They are the people who drop what they have going on any time you ask for help. They are the people who invite more than planned to a party because they can’t imagine not including everyone they know.
Uncle Kenny was never the center of attention; never asked for the spotlight to be pointed in his direction. He had a way of lifting others without any effort at all. If you were in the room with him, a calm radiated out from him. He may have been running around, doing a million things, but he would still stop to say hi never missing a beat. You would know, without question, that you were part of his friends and family. And all his friends felt like they were part of his family.
In today’s world, much of that may sound soft, but being a rock is the opposite. Most of the time, lighthouses are simply part of the background. But when the storm comes, the lighthouse stands firm against the weather ensuring sailers make their way back safely. The storm proves their strength. During the calm, they provide confidence against the future storm.
Uncle Kenny was a rock; he was the lighthouse.
I am a lucky man to have married an amazing woman who brought me into this great family. I am blessed to have known Kenny for the last 17 years. I am blessed that I am part of this family that loved him dearly. My heart breaks to see how much his loss is hurting every one of them. But I also draw strength from the fact that their relationships with him were powerful enough to have that impact. Love that strong hurts today but only because it soared yesterday.
We are going to hurt for a while. Uncle Kenny is going to live inside us for a while. That is a gift we should celebrate, even as we mourn.
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Almost no one finding this is going to know the man I am talking about personally. However, all of you will know someone who fits this description. Tell them you love them today. Make sure they know what they mean to you. It does not have to be with words if that is not your thing. Make sure you help them to feel it; know it.