Interviewing is an art that must be practiced to be perfected. Most people believe that interviewing occurs in finite, defined spaces of time such as when applying for a job, running for office, or going on a first date. The reality is that we are all interviewing, every day, with each new encounter with another person.
An interview is simply a defined interaction between two people where they are trying to learn about each other. In the classic job interview, the interviewer is trying to learn if the interviewee is a good candidate to hire based on some set of skills and requirements. The interviewee is trying to learn if the company is somewhere they want to work.
First impressions are important because they set the baseline for how we will be measured for the foreseeable future. But every impression after that is just as important. People understand that the first impression we get of someone is rarely the reality of who they actually are. First impressions usually don’t last long enough to give more than surface level information.
Some traits take years of interviewing to establish with others. Trust takes years to earn and one bad “interview” can destroy it completely. Love builds over time but can also fade as we change as people. Disdain can turn to hatred, apathy, or admiration over time as you better understand the motivations and desires a person has.
It’s daunting to think about but every interaction you have with another person is another interview where you either further establish who they think you are, give them something new about you, or change some impression they had. Over time, these collective interviews add up across different experiences, varying emotional states, and different levels of engagement.
The measure of a successful interview sometimes is just showing up. By remembering that all interactions are an opportunity to make or break a relationship, you are one step closer to being seen the way you see yourself. Life is all about communication – verbal and non-verbal. Own who you are but remember, you’re being observed.